Opening sequence featuring brief glimpses of various SCPs. Many are blurred or completely covered with black redaction boxes.
STEVE IRWIN (V.O.): Welcome to the second episode of Crikey! I’m your guide, Steve Irwin. Join me on this exciting adventure as we explore some of un-nature’s most mysterious and interesting creatures. Today’s topic SCP-098, a clever little crusty.
ALFRED VERNAC: A pleasure to meet you. Now, when I say clever, there’s no such thing as a smart crustacean. But this one really is clever.
[A large specimen of SCP-098 approaches Steve.]
SCP-098: Hey, you wanna have lunch? This is good food.
ALFRED VERNAC: This doesn’t seem like an especially wise idea.
STEVE IRWIN: I think you’re correct. [He stands up.] I was thinking the same thing, too. In fact, I think we’re in a lot of trouble. In fact, I think we are at a serious disadvantage. And that’s a problem. We’re going to be surrounded by crustaceans, which will be very dangerous.
SCP-098: I know. I know. We’re all in this together. It’s just not what I’m used to eating.
[SCP-098 and an entourage of smaller specimens approach with the intention of entering the dining hall.]
SCP-098: Hello and welcome to a meeting with the largest, fastest crustacean in the world. This one is called SCP-098.
ALFRED VERNAC: I’m just going to leave you and these gentlemen alone to eat. And then maybe, if you keep your cool, we can talk about what we’re doing here.
[ALFRED VERNAC exits. Steve stands, looking slightly worried.]
STEVE IRWIN: Well, uh…
SCP-098: Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! SCP-098! Come on, come on! Come on! Come on! Crikey! Come on! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Come on, come on, come on! Go away! Don’t move, come on! Crikey! Let’s go! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Crikey! Come on, come on, go away! Come on! Crikey! Come on, come on, just move away! Come on, come on, come on, Crikey! Crikey!! Crikey!! Crikey!! Crikey!! Crikey!! Crikey!! Crikey! Crikey!